I remember the first Fathers' Day after my father died. I couldn't handle all the ads for gifts for fathers. Seeing a sign in a department store made me cry.
It still is somewhat hard. If my father was still alive, he would have been 90 this year. Who knows what shape he would have been in? Would he have played golf today?
I went had a file of pictures of my father (Thank you, Richard, for sorting) and found this one of him running in the Duke City Marathon which I shared on Facebook this morning. Dad was very proud of his running, so of course, this made me smile. Some of the comments on FB made me smile, too. My brother-in-law, Bob, said, "He ran for over 40 years. Never fast but he could keep going and going and going. Wonderful father-in-law." A smile and a few tears. A poodle friend wrote, "Wow, a marathoner before it was a fashing statement! Cool!" Smile.
There have been many smile and tears over remembering my father over these years. He was such a good man. He enjoyed golf, and his swimming pool, and laying in the sun. He loved his family and was an exceedingly good son to his parents.
Images of him? The Speedos. Floating the pool and talking with Moe. The early morning runs and a few accidents in the dark before dawn- a fall, a dog bite. His love for his grandchildren. Laying on the couch watching golf on Sunday afternoons. His enjoyment of his cousins, Doris and Jack, Joyce and Dick, Lainie and Ronnie. Playing bridge in the den, yelling at partners, serving Oreos for a snack. Saturdays going down to his office with him. The hard work he put in to recover after his bypass surgery. His generosity. The care he took of his children. When I was unhappy about transferring the the University of Colorado when I couldn't get the classes I needed (after paying tuition), he told me never mind and offered me the opportunity to come home, if I wanted. Mild cursing. The teasing--He called me "Miss America," my sister was "Butterball" for awhile. Sharing the love of dogs. I remember him crying with me when I had to put my Triska to sleep. Smiles. Jokes. The Chinese restaurant and ice cream. The hole in my heart that has never left.
Our parents have to leave us at some time, but our lives will always be tied with them. I love you, Dad.
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