I've probably always been a pessimist, a kind of half-empty (or in this case 4/5 empty) kind of gal. I seem to be in a perpetual state of mourning right now. I see old people around and realize I'm one of them. I'm realizing that getting up slowly from the floor is a need rather than a choice, that waking up with aches and pains is not a matter of a new mattress, that I'm probably not going to do that yoga pose again.
This has been going on awhile, but came to a head when I've been struggling with learning to handle Canon in agility. At first my goofiness and inaccuracy could be attributed to being new at it. Now I see the people I've been learning with growing and leaving me in the dust. I am learning, but more slowly. I have trouble thinking on my feet and remembering what kind of cross I'm going to make where, to call out an obstacle to my dog ahead of time.
This sucks! I use that word rarely, but it seems to encapsulate my frustration. I look at my bookshelves and see books I may not get around to reading in my lifetime. I have dollars in the bank I may not spend. There many be no more dogs in my future.
When am I going to get that kick that tells me to just do it, and get on with my life?
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