Childhood Memories

Not my memories this time.

Coincidentally, and usual for me (nonfiction is not my first reading choice!),  I finished reading two memoirs last night.   The first was Nonno's Monkey by my book group friend, Isabel Bearman Bucher.  The second was Stitches  by children's book illustrator David Small.  Isabel's is about her childhood with her Italian-born family's life in this country.  Small's is in graphic novel form, telling of his upbringing by a radiologist father who unknowingly  caused his son's cancer and an unbalanced, unloving mother.  Very different families, but similarities exist.

Isabel writes about her family with love, yet also with childhood resentment.  She's resolved her issues with her mother, who didn't know how to act like a mother, yet shows how she felt about this as a child. She writes about how her family directed her, pushed her, embarrassed her--all childhood feelings.  It was foreign to me, her life living in the country with extended family, but familiar as well.

Small's family life was, perhaps, more like mine-- urban, middle class, but more foreign emotionally.  As a child his father treated his asthma with radiation, which eventually caused cancer.  He had surgery, which damaged his vocal cords, without even being told about the cancer.  His mother was always angry, distant.  He eventually discovered she was a lesbian.  His father was always working.

Both resented their families.  The wisdom of age has mellowed and resolved this resentment, but the childhood anger clearly shows.  I supposed I feel like this too.  I regret not having close relationships with my parents, and know I resented my mother's treatment of me.  (Nothing bizarre, we just didn't get along.)  I'm wondering know how common this thread is; how many people do have some anger or resentment towards their treatment as a child or relationship with their parents.  For a long time I thought that others all had ideal family relationships and I was odd.  So many women are good friends with their mothers, while I never had that.

When did a book review turn into being about me?  A bit heavy for my blog comeback.