Of Meetings and Tears

It's late, and I don't know how to describe my feelings about my time in Madison so far. It seemed odd meeting people I knew only through the Internet, but somehow, it's fairly easy. Some have turned out how I envisioned them, others not, but it's an interesting experience. There are dogs here as well as people- mastiffs, sheepdogs, great danes, and more. Much of of conversation centers around dogs, but that's OK. Starting points are always OK. It was hard for me to see the tripawds, because it reminded me of Rondo's struggle. I envy these creatures, who are especially beautiful to me, because I know wha love and commitment they "stand" on. I felt my eyes getting moist every time I looked at one.

This morning we toured the University of Wisconsin's Veterinary Teaching Hospital. The University is amazing to me, because it's obvious how much the place is spread out. I almost feel like a hick, someone used to a vet's office with four examination rooms, and then seeing these facilities. Dr. Ruthanne Chun talked to us about bone cancer and its treatment. I wondered why records aren't kept about the incidence of OS in breeds, and geographically. I still wonder about environmental causes, but this wasn't mentioned at all. I toy with the idea of attempting to gather that information, although I don't have a clue of how to start, or if that's in my reach. On the other hand, researchers focus on finding out how cancer works, and how to slow it down, or kill it. Is my interest more of a curiosity? If environmental causes were discovered, could/would we do anything about them?

Notable to me (and probably all of us) this evening was the tribute/memorial to the dogs of the attendees. I wept when there was nothing to weep at during the photos of the previous four Bone Cancer Dogs reunions. Then I found myself looking for Rondo's photos. It had been a long time since I sent them, and I didn't remember all of them. I wish I had taken more! Photos of Rondo having fun, rather than posing for me. Photos of Rondo and Caprice playing. Photos of Rondo biting my hair, or laying on top of one of us on the bed. All those moments missed.

Canon and Caprice are helping me move past my grief, I thought, but it's certainly all here tonight. An e-mail from Karen tells of a poodle being strangled after her collar caught on the tooth of her playmate. My tears haven't stopped for a half hour, and I'm pretty sure it's not all because of the death of a poodle I never knew. I grieved for a long time for my father. This seems harder. More reminders?